


When We Were Young

by Junliet



Series: 15 Day Challenges [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 15daychallenge, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 21:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junliet/pseuds/Junliet
Summary: Based on the Adele song, it's Javier's last day in Toronto. He and Yuzuru have one more look back at their past and how much they've changed as they talk a walk home with the sunset as their backdrop.Based on the theme of sunsets





	When We Were Young

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. This is my 15 day challenge for 'sunsets' and I combined it with something I've been wanting to do for a bit. I wanted to write this now because it came really easily. The song lyrics are in italics. Please enjoy my take on this theme xx

Yuzuru watched him. Even though they were in the same rink, only meters away from each other, it felt like he was still half the world away from him. He barely recognised the man in front of him; his light stubble had grown into a proper beard, and he’d aged since Revolution on Ice. They’d been friendly when he’d come back, of course they had, but the gap between them that had only grown since the Olympics was painful, and Yuzuru was so aware of it.

Of course, Javier knew it was there too, but he had to focus. Europeans were so soon, and he had to get his programmes ready for the perfect departure, the perfect ending to an amazing, decade long senior career. They looked beautiful, as beautiful as they had when he’d been practicing them for competitions like they used to. Malaguena and Man of La Mancha. The two programmes for Spain that Yuzuru loved to watch because they were so Javi.

_Everybody loves the things you do. From the way you talk to the way you move_

Javier snuck glances at his old friend and training mate, just stroking on the other side of the ice to him. He was subdued, less argumentative and more compliant. He listened to Brian and Tracy, he didn’t attempt crazy jumps from crazy entries, and he wasn’t mad that Javier was jumping quads when he couldn’t. Instead, he was just there, just stroking, like he used to when he’d first joined the club and he didn’t really understand what was going on. Yuzuru now wasn’t tripping over his toe picks as much as Yuzuru then did, and Yuzuru now wasn’t complaining in Japanese about not being able to jump.

Yuzuru had really grown up, and Javier didn’t notice it until now.

_Everybody here is watching you. Cause you feel like home. You’re like a dream come true._

“I missed you,” Yuzuru wanted to shout, to scream across the rink to Javier. “I missed you more than that stupid video could ever say. I missed you every day. Every salchow, quad or triple, I missed you. I missed your smiles. I missed having you help me up when I fell for the millionth time that day on a jump that makes Brian lose his hair. I missed our hugs, our jokes, our teasing, our joint practice sessions. I missed everything.”

But he didn’t shout. Or scream. Or cry. Or throw himself at Javier again for a hug. Instead, he resigned himself to stroking practice alone, focusing on his blades against the ice instead of his heart breaking in two again.

_But if by chance you’re here alone can I have a moment before I go? Cause I’ve been by myself all night long hoping you’re someone I used to know._

Brian let them both go and, in silence, they both changed in the locker room together. Yuzuru meticulously cleaned his blades and touched his right ankle with a little frown, chewing his lip. Javier half watched him as he cleaned his own blades off. The silence was deafening and overwhelming, broken only by the dripping of the shower that had been broken since before Yuzuru arrived and had never been broke since, and the rustling of clothes and bags. Javier watched Yuzuru lace up his trainers and hiss as he started to go.

“Yuzuru, wait.”

The other turned to him, only half a practiced smile on his face for once. Javier’s heart twisted a little.

“Do you want me to walk you home? In case your ankle gets hurt.”

“Oh.” Yuzuru shrugged lightly. “Won’t it be out of your way?”

“Not really. My rented place isn’t too far from yours.”

Yuzuru shrugged again and Javier took that to be a yes. With a wave to Brian and Tracy, the pair left the club together.

_You look like a movie. You sound like a song. My God, this reminds me of when we were young_

“Do you remember the Finlandia Trophy? In 2012?”

Yuzuru nodded, looking up at the sky as it changed form the bright blue of the afternoon to the pink and orange as the sun started to lower towards the horizon. “My first competition after training with Brian. My first competition where Javier tickled me on the podium.”

Javi nodded, studying the other’s profile with a neutral expression. “Yeah… Feels like forever ago, doesn’t it?”

“Seven years,” Yuzuru still didn’t look at him, focusing on the maple trees that lined their walk back and dappled the lighting of the sunset, casting longer shadows across their walk. “We’ve been training together for seven years.”

_Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were before we realised we were sad of getting old. It made us restless. It was just like a movie. It was just like a song._

“And now you’re going,” Yuzuru bit that last sentence back, stopping himself from saying it as tears threatened to fall.

“What a good seven years,” Javier said instead, half smiling. Yuzuru nodded, looking out over the sunset instead of looking at the other; he didn’t trust himself not to start crying. “We’ve had so many good moments together, haven’t we?”

Yuzuru nodded, too choked up to talk, so Javier kept going. “Remember when we used to chase each other around the rink at the club before Tracy started stroking class? And then Brian caught us once and yelled at us?”

“And I barely understood what he was saying,” Yuzuru chuckled, nodding. “I remember. That was a fun day.”

“And that time when Brian was trying to get you to understand that he wanted you to practice the flip edge, but the only word you understood was flip.” Javier teased him lightly. “You were so funny and pouty then.”

Yuzuru shook his head, laughing properly. If he didn’t, he would have burst into tears. “I remember.” His face then fell slightly and he looked down at his feet. “Remember your first Worlds medal?”

“2013.” Javier nodded, watching Yuzuru for a reaction. “Yeah, I remember.”

“I was so jealous of Patrick Chan then,” Yuzuru pulled a face. “I wanted gold so much then.”

“You always want gold,” Javier teased.

_I was so scared to face my fears. Nobody told me that you’d be here._

Yuzuru nodded, biting his lip hard. “Sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“I was awful to you.” Yuzuru said softly, and then the words wouldn’t stop. “I was so cold, so vile even, to you. After 2015 Worlds I was so jealous of you. I wanted that gold, but that whole season was… So bad. I thought I could be happy for you. And… And then 2016 Worlds came and losing to you hurt me so much. It’s not your fault I skated so badly and you skated so well. But I treated you so badly afterwards. I was so cold. So mean. So… So distant. And I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past. I’ve moved on. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” Javier shrugged.

Yuzuru looked at him, eyes swirling so much with emotion that it made it hard to properly see. In the lower lighting of the sunset, Javier’s hair glowed gold instead of the beautiful brown, and the light caught his already gorgeous eyes and made them look like liquid gold too. He’d grown so much since Yuzuru last saw him, emotionally and physically, and it almost hurt to accept that.

_And I swear you moved overseas. That’s what you said, when you left me._

“How’s Revolution? How was it? I saw pictures. Looked like you had fun.” Yuzuru mumbled into his scarf.

Javier’s eyes lit up and he became so much more animated when he was talking about his home country and city. Every word was bright and full of an enthusiasm that warmed Yuzuru’s heart. The other looked properly happy and less emotionally and physically exhausted when he was talking about his show, the show that he'd spent ages on and given so much of himself for.

"--And you're going to do Continues with Wings again, right?" Yuzuru snapped out of his daydream to meet Javier's warm, inviting eyes and smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there in person for you, I--"

"You were amazing," Yuzuru cut him off quickly. "You... Everyone loved seeing you there. Thank you. For waking up really really early on your birthday to be there for everyone. Everyone loved you."

"Thank you for the birthday song. It was amazing." Javier couldn't help but chuckle at the memory.

_You still look like a movie. You still sound like a song. My God, this reminds me of when we were young_

Yuzuru nodded and looked over at the sunset again. It was much lower now, about halfway down, and Javier followed his eye line out too.

"Remember that day when Jun first came to the club and we did that initiation ritual with him?"

"Oh God, and Brian nearly killed us for spinning a junior around on the ice until he could barely stand up, let alone skate straight. Yes, I remember that." Javier groaned. "I didn't realise he was _that_ paternal sometimes, but there we go. I'm guessing you didn't do it to Jason and Evgenia?"

Yuzuru half chuckled before he shook his head. "Brian said he would let me practice the quad axel if I didn't spin them both around on the ice as the initiation ritual. He's getting wise in his old age."

Javier snorted and laughed, shaking his head. "I really hope Jun did it to the new junior guy. Conrad?"

"Oh, he did. And Brian yelled at me for teaching him to do it."

_Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were before we realised we were sad of getting old. It made us restless. It was just like a movie. It was just like a song._

Javier chuckled, looking past Yuzuru to the setting song. "That ritual can't die. It was there when I joined. It's got to continue, for the sake of tradition."

Yuzuru nodded, looking down at his feet as they kept walking. Javier glanced at his ankle occasionally but it wasn't giving him much trouble. Everything felt so final to him. This was goodbye to them training wise, it had to be or Yuzuru would never have let Javier walk away again. Their friendship was teetering on the edge, however, and he didn't want to push Javier away and shatter it on their last day like he'd done so many times before. Not after Javier collected the pieces and meticulously put them back together. But he couldn't let Javier see all the emotions in his mind, or the kind-hearted other man would never have left for fear of hurting him.

"What was your favourite competition?" Javier asked him, surprising Yuzuru slightly. "Like, your favourite ever. Junior or senior."

Yuzuru chewed on his lip, thinking. "I have too many to choose. I... Hm..."

"Well, what are your favourite two competitions then? Or three?"

"NHK Trophy of 2015." Yuzuru supplied and Javier couldn't help but chuckle. "Grand Prix Final of 2015. And Olympics. Last year, not 2014. You?"

Javier smiled and thought for a moment. "Shanghai. And Boston. And the Olympics last year."

_It's hard to admit that everything just takes me back to when you were there_

"I saw that video," Javier teased him, smiling as the lowered lighting still somehow caught Yuzuru's hair and made it look like he had golden streaks woven through it. "Missed me, did you?"

Yuzuru groaned and covered his face. "I hadn't trained in Canada without you! Don't be mean! Brian shouldn't have said so much!"

"It's sweet," Javier said with a little laugh. "Nice to know that you care so much."

_And a part of me keeps holding on, just in case it hasn't gone. I guess I still care. Do you still care?_

"I'll always care about you." Yuzuru said firmly, holding back everything else he was unsure he could say. He didn't have the right, not as they left the main street and both turned together down one of the familiar side routes. "You're my friend."

"You're my friend too." Javier nodded with a smile. "I'll miss you. Maybe one year you could come and do Revolution on Ice with me?"

"If you come and do Continues with Wings again." Yuzuru nodded. "But yes. I'd be honoured to do it."

_It was just like a movie. It was just like a song. My God, this reminds me of when we were young._

"Remember when you first came to Toronto and all you wanted to do was jump axels?"

"That's still all I want to do." Yuzuru half joked, pulling his scarf around his nose and mouth tighter. "And look pretty while doing it."

"Yeah, you haven't changed much," Javier joked, "I thought you were done with the Johnny Weir inspired costumes, but apparently you're not."

Yuzuru rolled his eyes, chuckling as tears welled up in his eyes. "Notre Dame de Paris was a beautiful costume."

"Notre Dame de Paris? Sorry, I only know fake Johnny Weir's Ave Maria."

Yuzuru swatted at him. "At least I don't wear all black and pretend it's a costume."

Javier huffed, narrowing his eyes at Yuzuru playfully. "Man of La Mancha isn't all black."

"Unwashed shirt and trousers. Next." Yuzuru joked, sticking his tongue out at the other.

"At least I don't look like I rolled around in leaves!" Javier retorted. "What even is Origin?"

Yuzuru gasped in mock offence. "It's like a phoenix rising from the ashes with wings tipped in gold after being burnt!"

"Dramatic dramatic dramatic!" Javier teased.

"Remember when we used to tease each other all the time over our costume choices?" Yuzuru mumbled, and Javier nodded.

"It wasn't a proper season unless we were both there, wrinkling our nose at what the other had chosen to wear. Especially before Soch--"

_Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were before we realised we were sad of getting old. It made us restless. Oh, I'm so mad I'm getting old. it makes me reckless._

Javier stopped and Yuzuru looked down, swallowing thickly. "For the record, I liked your PyeongChang costumes better than your Sochi ones."

Javier half smiled at him, and Yuzuru couldn't help but smile back. They reached the crossroads where they'd have to part and they both had to stop and just look at each other. The sun had nearly finished setting behind them; it was still casting long shadows and a pink and orange glow about the place. Javier half reached for Yuzuru's hand before he stopped himself and smiled.

"I-I... I guess this is goodbye for now then?"

Yuzuru nodded, unable to meet Javier's eyes as he didn't trust the dam inside him not to break. The other cupped his cheek very gently and guided his head up to look at him. Yuzuru swallowed down the lump in his throat when he caught sight of Javier's eyes also swirling with tears. He bit his lip hard and Javier smiled very weakly at him.

"Please smile for me Yusu. I want to remember you smiling. I... I want my mind to take a photograph of you again. I've got so many pictures of us stored up here," he tapped the side of his head with a wet chuckle, "right from the beginning, from when I was there spinning you around on the ice for your initiation through to acting as your not-English to English translator for the first few months, then us at the Grand Prix Final together competing, through to the playful arguments before the Olympic season started, the support we offered each other through those months of hard work and in the gala, to watching you win the World Championships for the first time and me at your side, to us on the podium for the Grand Prix Final in my home country, to the World Championships and my first gold for Spain at Worlds, to us training again together, to seeing your face when you broke the barriers that no one before had touched, to us both getting medals at Worlds again, everything from then to the next final, to Worlds, and through to the Olympics and then coming back for this training. I've got pictures of it all in my mind. Please, Yuzuru, please let me have one more of you smiling."

Yuzuru couldn't let him down. He smiled not the smile that he'd worn when he won his first Olympic gold, when he'd won his second Olympic gold, when he'd shattered the barrier set in his home country again in Javier's home country, and when he'd broken his barriers again and again. Instead, he wore the smile that he reserved only for those closest to him. It was the smile he'd worn when he realised Javier would be on the podium with him at the Olympics. It was the smile he'd worn whenever he spoke to Saya or his father via Skype. It was the smile that he kept locked away from the rest of the world, but now Javier deserved to see it. Having meant so much to him in his life, Yuzuru couldn't hold back anymore.

So he smiled, and Javier smiled too, and the Spaniard took his hand and squeezed it lightly with a soft smile.

"Thank you Yusuru."

Yuzuru lowered his head, swallowing down some of the tears that threatened to fall. "Thank you for allowing me to come to Toronto and train Javi. I will miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too," Javier said with a smile before he lightly elbowed Yuzuru's side. "Can I borrow your triple axel for Europeans?"

Yuzuru tapped his chin playfully, sun fully behind him and creating a beautiful silhouette for Javier to observe. "If I can borrow your salchow again for Worlds and next season."

"Aww, but you've had my salchow forever!" Javier whined, pouting a little. "I guess you can keep it, but I need it for Europeans."

"Done!" Yuzuru grinned before it half slipped off. "S-so is... This is goodbye?"

"For now. We'll see each other at summer shows I'm sure."

Yuzuru nodded, choked up with emotion again. Javier pulled him into a tight hug and rubbed his back.

"I'll miss you, Yusu. Stay healthy, and rest your ankle properly this time, okay?"

"Okay," Yuzuru whispered, hugging Javier back. It would have been so easy to just turn his head slightly and pull the other into a kiss to show all the emotions he couldn't say. But he couldn't do that. Not now. It was too late for him to do that, and Javier had someone else now. "Good luck."

"Thank you," Javier smiled as they pulled away. "You too."

Javier turned left towards his own home and Yuzuru turned right, just as the sun fully sank below the horizon.

_It was just like a movie. it was just like a song. When we were young._


End file.
